


And There Came A Cry For Chocolate

by dsa_archivist



Category: due South
Genre: Challenge Response, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1999-05-05
Updated: 1999-05-05
Packaged: 2018-11-10 23:45:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11137020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dsa_archivist/pseuds/dsa_archivist
Summary: Note from Speranza, the archivist: this story was once archived atDue South Archive. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address onDue South Archive collection profile.





	And There Came A Cry For Chocolate

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Speranza, the archivist: this story was once archived at [Due South Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Due_South_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Due South Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/duesoutharchive).

And there came a cry for chocolate...  
  


## And there came a cry for chocolate...

  
  
A Voyager/ Due South CrossOver  
by Malkavius and Jaelyn  
 **Rated G**  
  
The evening shift, that magical time when boredom  
ruled and absolutely nothing exciting happened,  
was almost over. Bob Jenerik was not sure  
whether to be happy about this or not. It meant  
he would get to get up from his seat at  
navigation, move to the turbo-lift and promptly  
fade out of the minds and eyes of everyone else  
on board the ship. Oh, someone might see him go  
down his corridor to his room, but he doubted  
it. It had always been this way, this  
semi-invisibleness that plagued him. And he had  
a feeling that a lot of the others on board the  
ship felt the same way too. Oh, sure, Captain  
Janeway spoke about the whole vessel being a  
family, but you never got the sense that it was  
truly so. It was like unless you were standing  
by one of the bridge crew or, one of the other  
guys who had the much-neater-sounding-name than  
you, you didn't really exist except as part of  
the background.  
  
It was depressing really. What he would really  
like was some excitement. Just a taste of what  
it felt to be on the day shift. Just once,  
maybe, to get up close and personal with the  
Captain. To really talk to her...ahh, but who  
was he kidding?  
  
The cheery boing from the ships computer  
announced the changing of the shift. From night  
to day, and from boredom to sleep. Bob heard the  
doors to the bridge swish open, and knew it was  
Harry Kim or maybe Paris...some one to take his  
place for when things REALLY started happening.  
He glumly stood, and turned, heading for the  
exit and another night of white noise.  
  
He slammed directly into a form both soft and  
feminine. He knew it was definitely feminine  
cause his hand, in the act of reaching out to  
catch himself, had grabbed...  
  
"Ensign...!" the high pitched voice that somehow  
screamed years of cigarette smoking, (even  
though cigarettes, since having been long ago  
deemed politically incorrect, had been outlawed)  
was instantly recognizable.  
  
Janeway's unamused glare turned the hapless  
Ensign to unintelligible goo.  
  
"Captain! I ...uhh...didn't...ummm...that is I  
never...you...ummm.." he smiled weakly, mind  
racing and options failing. The glare did not  
lessen, in fact, it sharpened, and he could feel  
the sweat trickle down his back. Desperately he  
grabbed for the final thing..the last option.  
"uhh...Has anyone told you you look lovely  
today, Captain?"  
  
Normally this line would have failed. It had a  
hundred times before but luck and the mighty  
calendar were on Bob's hapless side. Amazingly,  
she smiled. The Captain smiled and blushed and  
laughed. Like a school girl. And Bob would have  
sworn Janeway had never been a school girl in  
her whole life.  
  
"You really think so, Ensign?" she said, tone  
still that throaty deep timbre, and eyes  
demurely lowered. From the relative safety of  
the first officer's chair, Chakotay tensed, as  
did the whole day shift bridge crew. 'Don't be  
a fool, man...get out while you can,' he  
silently urged. Didn't he know what time of  
month it was, for heaven sake?!  
  
"Well," Bob was still so flustered that it had  
actually worked. "I guess so..uhh...I mean,  
yeah. You look pretty good considering.."  
  
Janeway's eyes instantly hardened. "Considering?"  
  
The morning bridge crew all held their breath.  
  
"Ummm..yeah. I mean, the pressures of command  
and all are such that..."  
  
"Are you insinuating that I can't be a Commander  
and Feminine at the same time?" her voice raised  
in volume.  
  
"oh my god.." Harry Kim whispered.  
  
"...because if THAT is what you are insinuating,  
you mindless peon who doesn't even have a  
regular SPEAKING role, I will have you..."  
  
"Chakotay, do something!" Paris hissed, beginning  
to panic.  
  
"ME?" The first officers voice was distressingly  
high pitched.  
  
"Yes you. You are the one who all the rumors say  
she has a thing with.."  
  
"Those are just rumors! Can I help it if fan  
fiction authors have nothing better to do with  
their time than...." He was sliding down in his  
chair, defensively.  
  
"Can't you get a spirit guide to help or some  
other such mumbo jumbo?" Kim's earnest face  
plead. Chakotay sighed, and glanced to where  
Janeway had taken the ensign by the throat and  
was gesturing wildly.  
  
"No. This has gone far beyond that. Chakotay to  
Engineering." He touched his com badge and  
stood, getting some distance between himself and  
the Captain.  
  
"Torres here. What can I do for you Chakotay?"  
  
Chakotay raised his voice deliberately. "Yes,  
B'Lanna, didn't you say that you had had some  
special modifications tied in from the warp core  
so the replicators could make chocolate for  
today?"  
  
Janeway froze.  
  
Down in engineering B'Lanna growled, beautiful  
eyes narrowed at the unwavering figure that  
calmly stood before her. "Commander, I am afraid  
we have a problem in the TransDuesers...mainly  
some strange human male in red serge standing in  
front of them and not moving out of the way."  
  
The blue eyes shone with typical clarity and,  
perhaps a hint of regret. But no hesitation. "I  
am sorry Ms. Torres," Benton Fraser of the RCMP  
said firmly, "But I'm afraid that your jury  
rigged Warp Core/Chocolate making Replicator  
violates 13.3 natural laws. I am going to have  
to ask you to shut it down."  
  
Ray shifted his weight compulsively, blonde hair  
standing up in agitated spikes. "13.3?"  
  
Fraser shrugged, glancing over. "Well, there is  
some debate of the actual status of the law  
concerning the energy versus matter transvayance  
and the..."  
  
B'Lanna subtly moved closer to Fraser,  
expression grim. "Natural laws or not, we need  
that Chocolate!" With a savage cry, she pulled a  
klingon butter knife and pounced. The two bodies  
instantly intertwined in life and death battle.  
  
Hazel eyes rolled. "Great, just great. Yet  
another woman pouncing on Fraser.." Ray muttered.  
  
"Engine room, is there a problem?" Janeway's  
voice cut through the grunts of exertion like a  
hack saw.  
  
"...I mean, the uniform isn't that great, come  
on! I wore it once and no one..Oh." Ray stopped  
grumbling and looked at the com system  
skeptically. "Fraser, ahhh...man. Still busy I  
see." Ray cocked his head to the side, watching  
the fight, "Ouch..okay. I can get it." The array  
of buttons before him, Ray randomly picked and  
cleared his throat. "Ummm, no problem down here,  
uhh.. We're fine. Everything is fine....How are  
you?"  
  
"The hesitation in his voice indicates he is  
lying. Send in Seven of Nine to quote, 'Stomp  
his heiny.'" Tuvok calmly reported, and  
suggested. Blood beginning to fill Janeway's  
eyes, she nodded curtly for the command to be  
obeyed.  
  
The blond-who-defied-gravity, also known as  
Seven of Nine, entered the Engine room with  
admirable speed. Ray Kowalski's (in case you  
hadn't guessed it was him and not Vecchio.  
HA...yeah right, anyway) eyes widened. And then  
were drawn first up and down the former Borg,  
but still more or less fake, woman's curves.  
"Oh...hey..." Realization hit after the  
hormones. Stomp his heiny? "oh..no.. Fraser!  
Hey, Fraser!"  
  
Fraser grunted as he struggled to keep B'Lanna  
at arms length. "Not now, Ray...A mountie always  
gets his man...err...woman."  
  
"Get your alien hands OFF HIM!" Lights blazed  
like miniature nova's reflecting off the silver  
glint highlights on Frannie's net body suit and  
leather skirt. She threw herself into the fray,  
fingernails raking for B'Lanna with ferocity.  
  
Meanwhile, poor Ray, unarmed and made mostly  
unable to think in the face of all that skin  
tight bodysuit gulped and gamely raised his  
fists for a half-hearted effort to stave off the  
blond borg. To no avail. Seven grabbed him with  
all the swiftness of a hunting rabbit and kissed  
him passionately. And very thoroughly. Ray  
blinked.  
  
"Of all the men on this ship, you and you alone  
know the wonderful feeling of a good solid kick  
to the head. I love you," she said in a deep and  
emotion wrought monotone.  
  
Ray grinned, relief stamped comically on his  
face. "Uh, never mind Fraser. I have this  
handled. WHOA!"  
  
Seven is knocked to the ground as, B'Lanna,  
overhearing this remark about Ray's kicking  
prowess, decides Tom is a weakling. She screams  
Klingon battle songs, fighting Seven for Ray.  
  
"Ray...Ray...Ray...Ray...RAY!"  
  
Hazel eyes tear themselves away from the  
flailing women..."Oh, what?"  
  
Fraser is pinned, Frannie's questing lips not  
far from his and her equally roaming  
hands...Fraser's blue eyes flash alarm and  
panic. "Help!"  
  
"Oh!" Ray rushed forward, "Frannie, come on, let  
go!"  
  
"Mine! I have followed you throughout the  
universe, Fraser.."  
  
"Fraser! The wolf has a shuttle all prepped and  
ready..come on run!" The two stumble blindly  
from the room, as Frannie tries to run after on  
sixteen-inch heels.  
  
"Engine room? Engine room, come in!"  
  
Silence...  
  
Janeway turned slowly, eyes falling first on  
Chakotay, and then on Paris, and then on Kim.  
No...all too valuable. Too irreplaceable. She  
strode the few feet that separated her from her  
second in command and stared at him for a long  
moment, ignoring the rivulets of sweat running  
down his tattooed face.  
  
"Chakotay.."  
  
"Y-yes, Captain?"  
  
"Bring me a Red Shirt. NOW."  
  
"Immediately Captain, of course...right away."  
He reached for the com and quickly issued forth  
the command.  
  
Meanwhile, in all the stark terror, Bob slipped  
from the room, only bearing minor internal  
injuries. Night shift...he'd never knock it again.  
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